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Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

An occasional break from legal profession snark can be welcome, especially when it’s been a good week. And how about this for one more reason?

Earlier this afternoon, I watched an enjoyably memorable 4-minute video Frans Hofmeester created over 14 years of his daughter, Lotte. It shows Lotte growing up in time-lapse. Starting in 1999 and every week thereafter, he filmed his daughter from first capturing her animated baby face and then to magically memorializing her developing charm, personality and exultant spirit. And Frans’ project continues.

 

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lipstick pigProbably thinking I needed it, someone recommended a book with pithy business and life advice. When I looked it up, I discovered it was larded with the kind of time-worn advice that if you live long enough, you’ll see over and over again. Only the color of the lipstick changes, but it’s still the same pig.

Besides, how many times can you write about building a better mousetrap? It would appear, interminably. Cicero had his moral lessons and Marcus Aurelius his meditations on life and Ben Franklin his “Poor Richard’s Almanack.” And almost 30 years ago, Robert Fulghum had “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” with his version of epigrammatic life lessons, including for example,

“1. Share everything.
2. Play fair.
3. Don’t hit people.
4. Put things back where you found them.
5. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS.
6. Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
7. Say you’re SORRY when you HURT somebody.
8. Wash your hands before you eat.
9. Flush.
10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
11. Live a balanced life – learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.
12. Take a nap every afternoon.
13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we.
16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first words you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.”

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/8b/Pannage_in_the_New_Forest.JPG/320px-Pannage_in_the_New_Forest.JPGObviously, there’s a lot of wisdom in such writings. So there’s a reason the old chestnuts are repeatedly repackaged for consumption for each generation.

Over time a few of the aphorisms and “lessons” have even made their way here.

So a few days ago, courtesy of Dumb Little Man – Tips for Life, I came across Dan Bacon’s “10 Ways to Be a Better Man (No you aren’t already doing them all.”

Which of course made me immediately think of a favorite romantic comedy, “As Good as It Gets and what Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) memorably told Carol Connelly (Helen Hunt) on their dinner date — “You Make Me Want to Be a Better Man.”

And has it really been 17 years since that movie came out and she called it “the best compliment of my life”?

But no matter. Time to take stock of Bacon’s iteration and of course, to challenge his gender conceit of a “better man.” Clearly, the 10 ways can also apply to women. Consider it was feminist Gloria Steinem who said, “Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.”

“1. Don’t Crumble Under Pressure.

2. Give, But Also Expect Respect in Return.

3. Love Others Without Judgement.

4. Have Life Purpose and Follow Through On It.

5. Be a Man of Your Word.

6. Always be Yourself.

7. Maintain Control of Your Emotions.

8. Be Someone That People Look Up To.

9. Take the Lead in Situations.

10. Take Full Responsibility For Your Own Success or Failure.”

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Photo Credits: “Pig and piglets in woodland alongside Ober Water, New Forest” by Jim Champion at Wikipedia Commons, the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

 

 

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“I’d like to see lawyers for god’s sakes say something about the RULE OF LAW and doing what we came to do – ENHANCE FAIRNESS AND JUSTICE FOR ALL,” a lawyer friend wrote me the other day.

Her words resonated with me on several levels. First there was that odious discriminatory bill passed by the Arizona Legislature. Dim-witted Governor Jan Brewer dallied, deliberated and finally vetoed it because as one pundit properly put it — because she was “more afraid of the Chamber of Commerce than the Tea Party.” Rogue Columnist Jon Talton had one of the better assessments about why crazy stuff like this keeps happening here in “Satan’s crotch” at “SB 1062: The aftermath.”

Spirits 19Second, I’ve been musing about justice, fairness and unfairness because I’m halfway through Houston death-penalty lawyer/professor David Dow’s The Autobiography of an Execution.

Read this excellent book and you can’t help but dwell on systemic unfairness and as a lawyer — about Dow’s statement, “Sometimes I think I became a lawyer because I believe rules matter, but I suppose I could have the cause and effect reversed.”

Author of six books, Dow is a strongly opinionated death-penalty opponent. He’s also litigation director at the Texas Defender Service and founder of Texas’s oldest innocence project, the Texas Innocence Network.

Scales in blue light uid 1“I used to support the death penalty,” Dow writes. “I changed my mind when I learned how lawless the system is. If you have reservations about supporting a racist, classist unprincipled regime, a regime where white skin is valued far more highly than dark, where prosecutors hide evidence and policeman routinely lie, where judges decide what justice requires by consulting the most recent Gallup poll, where rich people sometimes get away with murder and never end up on death row, then the death-penalty system we have here in America will embarrass you no end.”

“The world isn’t fair, Calvin.”

“I know Dad, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?”Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

Third, ever since getting tossed out of 8th grade with a number of my classmates for what we thought was a principled stance but which the nuns strongly disagreed, I’ve tried to reconcile and admittedly without much success Calvin’s view of the world’s unfairness. Throughout the rest of my academic life and even into my corporate working life, I’ve weighed the merit and demerit cards life and circumstances have passed out.

So I’ve had this thing about fairness and unfairness for as long as I can remember. It matters most where the moral equities lie, especially now as a lawyer.

ButPeople 38447 I’ll not credit a lifelong creed with animating a desire to be a lawyer. That’s a romantic notion but it wouldn’t be true. No, a long extent and inherent disposition toward skepticism — even cynicism would forestall such idealized foolishness. Indeed, of cynicism I often joked that when I came out of the womb — I slapped the doctor first.

navelAnd finally, the past few months I’ve done more than contemplate my navel about this topic. Besides work and a personal life, I’ve been busy combating an unfairness just foisted on Arizona lawyers by our ‘friendly state bar.’

The mandatory bar and specifically, its board of governors finally succeeded in doing what they first tried in December. Last week they voted to raise our annual attorney licensing fees. No matter that they were already among the highest in the country. The easiest money to spend is always somebody else’s.

And unhappy with having to deal with the complaints of a restive lawyer hoi polloi, at one point the board even tried without success to tack on an automatic cost-of-living escalator tied to the consumer price index — as though what state bars do has anything to do with the price of milk and bread in Peoria — Arizona.

Objects 1324Now I’ll concede that compared to losing life, liberty or significant property interests, a dues increase is obviously a trifle, a thimble’s worth of irritation. “It’s not like we’re trying to cure cancer,” a colleague quipped.

But all the same, it was the same kind of bullshit unfairness that’s rankled and inflamed passions my whole life. I’ll have a lot more to say about it later.

But for now, I think another admonition from Christopher Hitchens is appropriate, “Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence.”

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Photo Credits: “Fairnesszone,” by PatrickSeabird at Flickr via Creative Commons-license requiring attribution; “Calvin 12,” by Frankie Kangas at Flickr via Creative Commons-license requiring attribution.

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roughing it 54“Why are lawyers killing themselves?” That was the sensational headline to a CNN story that ran a few days ago.

Talk about implicit assumptions. Talk about a leading question. Long on anecdote, short on data but no matter for CNN — if it bleeds, it leads.

And lest I be accused of callous disregard, let me quickly add that even one death by suicide is one too many. As John Donne famously said, “any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.” And yes, regardless of occupation, depression is a very real problem. I only wish CNN really knew what it was talking about.

A widespread problem?

So is there an epidemic of suicide in the legal profession?

According to the last available U.S. data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, (CDC) — across all age groups, genders and racial groups, there were 38,364 deaths from suicide in 2010. And those numbers break out differently by age, gender, race and location, which means there’s a great deal of variability given the comparatively small populations involved.

Businessmen uid 1But out of that number, how much self-inflicted death occurs among the approximately 1.3MM lawyers in the U.S.? No one really knows for sure. Certainly, the risk factors that impact all people also encompass lawyers.

Men, for instance, are about four times more likely than women to die from suicide and the CDC also highlights risk factors like previous suicide attempt(s); a history of depression or other mental illness; alcohol or drug abuse; family history of suicide or violence; physical illness; and feelings of isolation. But as for an increase in lawyers killing themselves, the ‘proof’ seems mostly anecdotal extrapolation and pure conjecture.

Not much data.

Sure lawyers get stressed out and anxious — but more stressed out than firefighters, police officers, pilots, and military personnel? According to CareerCast’s recently published list of the 10 most stressful jobs, lawyers don’t even make the list. And with the caveat, “data on occupational suicide is hard to find,” lawyers aren’t on the list of 13 careers where you’re most likely to commit suicide. Dentists come in first on that list — but even that is challenged as “Urban Legend” — the myth of the suicide-prone dentist. And coming in at No. 5 are authors who are supposedly 2.60 times more likely to commit suicide than average. Are male lawyers who blog at greater risk?

Ronald Maris, Ph.D., Director for the Study of Suicide and Life Threatening Behavior at the University of South Carolina, points out, “Occupation is not a major predictor of suicide, and it does not explain much about why the person commits suicide.” Indeed, even the American Psychological Association says of “Suicide by profession: Lots of confusion, inconclusive data.”

So corroborating evidence tying suicide by occupation is sparse. Some researchers even maintain that “occupation may not be much of a factor in suicide. Psychologists have long documented that among the top predictors for suicide are diagnosable mental disorder, co-morbid substance use, loss of social support and availability and access to a firearm.”

File:ChurchBell.jpgNevertheless, CNN still tolled the bell and highlighted Kentucky where it says at least 15 attorneys have committed suicide since 2010. USAToday in their own report last June, reported a different number and said 12 lawyer suicides have taken place in Kentucky during that time. Either way, these are tragic incidents, especially for the families left behind. But either number represents less than one percent of Kentucky’s 17,500 lawyers. Indeed, across the country, the CDC lists suicide as tenth among the leading causes of death. Heart disease and cancer are 1 and 2.

Mandatory mental health.

Woman covering her eyes uid 1But leave it to your friendly state bars to respond to the supposed crisis with the usual knee-jerk overreactions and pious prescriptions. Mistaking action for achievement, they hold meetings, create task forces, and in several jurisdictions, impose mandatory continuing legal education programs on mental health. Recalling my undergraduate Jesuit logic and philosophy class — it’s argumentum ad populum — ‘if many believe so, it is so.’

Which brings me to a recent commentary on the purported prevalence of new lawyer anxiety and the usual state bar claptrap to supposedly fix what ails these new lawyers.

Written by Wisconsin lawyer at “The Legal Watchdog,” the title says it all, “State bar recommends new lawyers do free legal work to reduce their anxiety from not having money or legal training.” It’s worth reading and is reblogged below with express permission of the author.

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State bar recommends new lawyers do free legal work to reduce their anxiety from not having money or legal training.

By Michael Cicchini, MBA, CPA, JD

Young business man standing pulling his pockets inside out uidIn November, 2013, a special task force report by the State Bar of Wisconsin concluded that a large number of new law grads can’t find jobs to pay off their staggering student debt loads.  In addition, many of those who were fortunate enough to be employed (or underemployed) were afraid to practice law because they didn’t know how.  Here’s a nice excerpt of a summary of the report from the bar association’s e-newsletter:

“My debt is higher than a mortgage for a nice house. It’s all I think about. And I know I will be strapped in a job I don’t want paying debt for the rest of my life,” said [one new lawyer].

“I’m buried under debt. I’m terrified that this is what the rest of my life is going to look like. I’m also scared to start my own practice, because I don’t have the practical litigation experience. I can’t afford a pet, let alone kids. I live paycheck to paycheck. It’s very, very scary and disheartening,” was another response from a new lawyer.

Another lawyer said the job search left the lawyer feeling “suicidal” and “terrified.” The lawyer also feels alone and scared of making a mistake in practice but is hesitant to tell anyone about these mental struggles for fear of being disbarred.

. . . [A] task force member and past president of the State Bar’s Young Lawyer’s Division[] said the lawyers who made these sorts of comments “are fast becoming your average member of the State Bar.”

So, in short: lots of stress due to high debt loads, no jobs, and the fear of practicing law because of the lack of training and the related risk of disbarment.  So what is the state bar’s solution?

j0439359In December, the state bar sent out an email to all members titled “Reduce your stress with exclusive benefits for State Bar of Wisconsin members.”  One of those “benefits” was the “opportunity” to do pro bono legal work, because “volunteering can help improve people’s mental heath.”  Fortunately, “Whether you are an experienced lawyer or just getting started, there are pro bono opportunities available to you throughout the year.  Visit the State Bar’s online volunteer directory[.]”

Now, in fairness, even though this email came out after the state bar’s “special task force report,” the person who slapped this email together probably didn’t even know the task force report existed or, if he did, probably never had any reason to read it.  But although these two documents are not related, the irony is rich.  First, the state bar acknowledges that new grads are stressed out (to the point of having suicidal thoughts) because they don’t have any money and don’t know how to practice the profession they just paid handsomely to learn.  And second, to alleviate this stress the state bar recommends that these new lawyers offer free legal services to real people with real legal problems.  This is almost too much for me to process, but two thoughts come to mind.

People 3050First, while I appreciate the softball my mandatory state bar just lobbed me, this whole “giving back” culture is starting to grate on me—in fact, this is the classic stuff of law schools and state bar organizations.  Granted, this particular state bar’s email thinly disguises the “giving back” theme with a self-interested twist: give back for your own good—it will reduce your stress!  (No thanks.  Practicing law creates stress, and I’ve done enough involuntary unpaid legal work this year.  I’ll just sit on my couch and watch a bowl game instead.)  But more to the point: new law grads are saddled with staggering debt, haven’t been taught how to file a motion let alone try a case, and, if they are lucky enough to find legal work, are unwillingly thrust upon an unsuspecting public—and now they’re supposed to worry about giving back?  I think they’ve been drained of most of their life force already.

And second, while I can’t do anything about the legal job market and its approximately one legal job for every two law grads, I can do something about teaching grads and students how to practice law—at least in my field of criminal law.  So, if a state bar wants to hire me to design a training program for newly licensed attorneys, or if a law school wants to hire me as a prof to design and teach a series of courses on criminal law, procedure, and practice, let’s talk.  And don’t think of my salary as an additional “expense”—think of it as “giving back” to your membership or students.

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I was watching a segment on Sunday about America’s oldest teacher, Agnes ‘Granny’ Zhelesnik of New Jersey, who just turned 100 and is still working 35-hours a week teaching home economics to kids. Going strong five days a week, she hasn’t called in sick since she was 98. And the children adore her.

Living deep.

LAW AND JUSTICE 63

Which prompted me to wonder whatever became of Alice Thomas who graduated from law school at age 79.  That was four years ago. And it was news then because Thomas was at the time, the oldest person ever to graduate from McGeorge Law School in Sacramento. It was another of those seasoned citizen atta-girl/atta-boy moments I like so much.

For instance, there’s Charles Elliott who last year turned 100-years old and marked that milestone by skiing at the Colorado ski resort he helped found. He made four runs before stopping to sip champagne and eat cake with members of the Gray Wolf Ski Club.

And when it comes to , who can forget Ilona Royce Smithkin or or ‘over-the-rainbow’ Dorothy Ellis or ski slope silver surfer 91-year old Klaus Obermeyer or centenarian Octavio Orduño — who I hope is still riding his bike well past 100.

Although it’s increasingly more commonplace, most of us won’t be hitting the century mark — much less going beyond it like the now late Brazilian architect Oscar Niemeyer who famously called turning 103 a ‘crap’ birthday. Just the same, these are people who grabbed life by the throat. And who regardless of advancing years, chose to live deep and to continue sucking the marrow out of life.

Biting not “nibbling” at injustice.

lentes01As for Alice Thomas, on graduating law school she remarked how she aspired to ‘nibble’ at injustice. Since I couldn’t locate her on the state bar’s membership directory, I’m not sure if she ever sat for the bar exam in Nevada. But all the same, that’s not stopped her from trying to make good on her aspirations and to do more than just nibble at injustice.

The now 82-year old Thomas has been busy. She founded and heads a non-profit organization called Civil Rights for Seniors to provide legal services to seniors and other Nevada residents and to empower them through advocacy. “Seniors must be our priority as they do not have time to regain their security and take part in the General Welfare, a guarantee under our Bill of Rights,” she told Senior Spectrum Newspaper.

It’s confidential.

People 153Last October, her organization made news despite losing a state supreme court case seeking expanded public access to Nevada’s Foreclosure Mediation Program records. The records are maintained by the Administrative Office of Courts (“AOC”), which is an arm of the Nevada Supreme Court. Thomas and her organization wanted access to those records to “verify one way or another whether the program is or is not a success.”

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a9/Sign_of_the_Times-Foreclosure.jpg/320px-Sign_of_the_Times-Foreclosure.jpgIt’s a good question even though overall I think Nevada’s Foreclosure Mediation Program has done more good than bad. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean the program hasn’t been a mixed bag.

But how successful? That hasn’t been entirely clear. In 2011, the Reno Gazette-Journal concluded “that independently assessing its effectiveness was difficult because of incomplete data and a far-reaching confidentiality policy that encompasses nearly all of its records.”

j0289753Civil Rights for Seniors tried testing the limits of that policy and ran into the same problems the newspaper did with respect to the “far-reaching confidentiality” of those records. The organization also made much of the fact the since the Nevada Supreme Court administers the foreclosure mediation program and shares in the fees — it had a conflict of interest. The Court’s decision is outrageous!” said Thomas. “I am not surprised, but since when can judges sit in judgment of themselves and decide their own cases?” The case is Civil Rights for Seniors v. AOC, 129 Nev. Adv. Op. 80 (Oct 31, 2013).

NRS: Chapter 239 generally provides the public with access to inspect and copy public books and records held by governmental entities to the extent permitted by law. Civil Rights for Seniors’ records access efforts were turned back when the high court ruled the foreclosure mediation records held by AOC, a judicial entity, “are confidential as a matter of law.”

Despite this setback, I doubt it’s dissuaded Thomas and her legal team from persisting in efforts as she told “Senior Spectrum” to hold “those accountable who need to be held accountable” or from working to “create the conditions seniors need to flourish.”

Secret of life.

Like all the above-mentioned octogenarians, nonagenarians and centenarians, Thomas found her “one thing.” As Curly told Mitch in City Slickers, it’s what each of us has to find to get to our own “secret of life.”

In Curly’s words, it’s the “One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.”

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Photo Credits: “Not in Kansas Anymore,” by garlandcannon, at Flickr via Creative Commons-licensed content requiring attribution;”Sign of the Times – Foreclosure,” by respres at Wikimedia Commons via Flickr under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

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File:Monkey man.jpg“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.” For as long as I can remember I’ve liked aphorisms, those pithy aspirational adages that run from the comedic to the cerebral. My lawyer buddy Mark and I have exchanged them for years. He calls his collection a compendium, which he’s promised to share with me for the better part of the past decade — but he’s yet to make good on the promise.

I have my own collection of quotes and aphorisms. Many have found their way into this blog. However, I’ll not call my odd assortment of poems, essays, maxims and expressions any kind of body of knowledge rising to a compendium.

Steven Seagal3.jpgAnyway, I thought of memorable sayings and of George Carlin’s above-mentioned aphorism for two reasons this morning. The first was on news that over-the-hill and never-much-of-an-actor Steven Seagal just announced he may run for Arizona Governor. If he does, he’ll join a crowded field for Arizona’s gubernatorial election, which takes place November 4, 2014. And though she’s supposed to be , the finger-wagging, grammar-challenged incumbent Governor Jan Brewer, who’s a few clowns short of a circus, continues to mull a run for a third term.

Either way, with disbarred former Maricopa County Attorney Andy Thomas already poised to run — along with a slew of the usual reactionaries Arizona’s well-known for, the state’s national standing as “Meth Lab of Democracy” will remain virtually secure. And so, the circus won’t be leaving town.

The Three Simple Rules.

But on a more positive note, the second reason I thought of maxims and memorable sayings today was on reading the “Three Simple Rules That Could Change Your Life.” Sure some will call it a rehash of the well-worn maxim, ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’ or more colorfully, just another reminder ‘to grow a pair.’ 

And if an old buddy of mine happens to read this, I know he’ll cringe. Years after his restaurant failed, he’d half-jokingly still remind me how he wished he’d never read Theodore Roosevelt’s framed words on my office credenza, “The Man in the Arena.”

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c5/Jean-Leon_Gerome_Pollice_Verso.jpg/320px-Jean-Leon_Gerome_Pollice_Verso.jpgYou know the one, about “the man in the arena . . . who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” With a wry smile on his face, my friend would ‘blame’ me for having had Roosevelt’s motivational words around to re-inspire his lifelong restaurant ownership dream and eventually unsuccessful career-switch.

All the same, the honesty and truth of “the three simple rules” are timeless even in this latest iteration:

“1. If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it.

 2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.

 3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.”

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Photo Credits: Organ grinder at the local Harvest Festival, Wikimedia Commons, licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic; Steven Seagal, Wikipedia Commons, by Khom-manag, cropped by Dr. Blofeld, under the Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication; Pollice Verso by Jean-Léon Gérôme at Wikipedia Commons, public domain.

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“What we see isn’t what we see but what we are.” –  Fernando Pessoa

Four lives and as Grandma Moses said,“Life is what we make it.” First up, the past week there was another instance of endemic institutional hypocrisy. This time, it was epitomized by one more cassock-wearing clerical-collared casuists, the free-spending German bishop Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst.

Denying he has “a pompous lifestyle,’’ kiss his ring and move on for there’sNo shame in his game.’ He’s merely keeping faith, after all, with a centuries’ old church hierarchical tradition that ‘living well is the best revenge.’

And besides, the so-called ‘Bling Bishop’ is just ‘making ends meet.’ So why the flack over his posh new $42 million residence? Priestly vows? Paraphrasing George Herbertlotta wealth, little care. Or as the joke goes,

Then there was UC Berkeley law school grad Justin Alexander Teixeira, whose last idea of a good time was drinking too much, beheading an exotic bird, and getting himself arrested. The aspiring lawyer was sentenced this week to 190 days of manual labor along with educational and physical training in a military-style ‘boot camp’ in Nevada. So much for future lawyering.

Which brings me to what Henry David Thoreau wrote, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Teixeira and Bishop Tebartz-van Elst notwithstanding, for everybody else contemplated by Thoreau, there live and die testaments to his somber observation.

Four years ago I posted about an 83-year old man’s lonely “a peculiar place for the dolorous denouement of his life,” I wrote. Although — or maybe because it was a suicide, I couldn’t help but remember poet John Donne’s words, “Any man’s death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind.”

I’ve not forgotten that elderly man’s death on the golf course. And in a no less disturbing way, I’m still troubled by a short news item I read in Colorado this past August and which was updated last month.

Certainly it’s easier to grasp the motivations of a terminally ill 83-year old man but I still can’t quite get my head around the life of “quiet desperation” police say animated the actions of Grisel Xahuentitla-Flores.

The 29-year old Durango, Colorado woman is alleged to have tried to kill herself and her children by sealing up her house and turning on the gas stove after putting her two young daughters to bed.

Xahuentitla-Flores has been charged with two counts of attempted first-degree murder and two counts of child abuse. Fortunately for her children and for herself, the alleged murder-suicide was unsuccessful. Also see “Mother charged with attempted murder” – The Durango Herald

It’s a horrifying. And most of all, an inexcusably desperate story. Her husband and primary means of support was earlier arrested for domestic violence and being unlawfully present in the U.S., he faced likely deportation. As for herself, she had just lost her job and faced the prospects of not having the money to feed her daughters.

So after spending what money she did have to give her kids “the best day ever” of a movie, ice cream and playtime in the park, on the evening of the “best day ever,” prosecutors allege she planned for everyone to go to sleep and never wake up again. This is what police say she told someone at the hospital where they were taken following the botched murder-suicide.

At 19 I had a significant epiphany. It dawned on me then that every person I would ever meet has an unlooked-for life story — indiscernible — unless we take the time to have them tell it.

Sadly for a despondent young Colorado mother and a once desperately sick old man, time too often overtakes the telling.

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Photo Credits: “Der Limburger Bischof Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst,” by Christliches Medienmagazin pro at Flickr via Creative Commons-license requiring attribution;”CD Backside,” by Andrea Rose at Flickr via Creative Commons-license requiring attribution; “Stove – Black White and Shadows,” zeeweez by at Flickr via Creative Commons-license requiring attribution; “Saddest. Sight. Ever., by Jason Rosenberg at Flickr via Creative Commons-license requiring attribution.

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