The next full moon isn’t until September 4th. But I find myself inexplicably deflated and ruminating over stars and moons today.
Only an odd alignment of the heavens can explain a disparate rash of recent news developments.
First, a Maryland Circuit Judge, angry because someone’s car was parked in the judges’ restricted area, admitted this week to deflating a tire on the trespassing car. Judge Robert C. Nalley told a television reporter he did this because leaving notes for those parked illegally isn’t effective. Now, why didn’t I ever think of that? I guess writing a note doesn’t rise to the personally satisfying level of the extended sound of a hissy-fit accompanied by a slowly-deflating tire?
The car with the flat tire belonged to Jean Washington, a part time cleaning woman at the court. Not realizing that with few exceptions, ignorantia juris non excusat or ignorance of the law would not play well in Judge Nalley’s courtroom or in most any courtroom, Jean Washington claimed she didn’t know the parking area was restricted.
Just maybe, growing up on the mean streets of E.L.A. taught me something about not messing with someone else’s ride. So the chances are, I would’ve probably refrained from letting air out of another’s tire. Moreover, there’s no description of Ms. Washington’s car. Maybe, if it had been chopped, lowered and tricked out with $1200 chrome rims, the angry jurist might have thought twice before acting. I know I would have.
But nevertheless, at last report, the judge was neither embarrassed nor apologetic. But then there is nothing more righteous than the self-righteous.
Second, disgraced pol. Tom “The Hammer” Delay signed on as a contestant on the reality television show “Dancing with the Stars” on ABC. Who knew he could dance? Who cared? (In truth, dancing ability is not required of the third-tier celebrities competing on the show).
But then why not, Delay? If anyone needs a distraction from the Jack Abramoff money laundering trial looming ahead, it’s certainly the defendant, Tom Delay. And if the redoubtable reality raconteur of sleaze Jerry Springer, a past dance contestant, could find glory on this show, why not good ole’ boy, Texas Tom?
And finally, there’s a story this week out of French Camp, California involving a witness-intimidating gluteus maximus mooning the frail and elderly to the offending extent that the bare posterior’s owner was arrested. (I drove through French Camp once. Notwithstanding this tail, it’s a nice town).
Katherine Patterson was locked up for her both criminal and literal offense. She is the 58-year old mother-in-law of the defendant, the young woman accused of embezzling $234,000 from her 69 year old employers. Reports indicate she’d allegedly previously harassed the elderly accusers.
Whether Patterson was trying to intimidate the witnesses with her backside or simply exercising her First Amendment rights like some rowdy town hall meeting participant, remains to be proven in court. Then again, her defense may be that it was nothing more than an old time keester kiss-off.
Nevertheless, the allegation is that she also menacingly uttered those immortal words, “You can kiss my (expletive), just before she dropped her pants to moon the elderly victims. The incident purportedly took place in the courthouse. So to send a message of intolerance of such misconduct, the local D.A. had the last word. He put Patterson’s butt in jail.
I don’t do fiction here so this real life story can be found in the Tracy Press at http://www.tracypress.com/pages/full_story/push?article-Bare%20butt%20lands%20woman%20behind%20bars%20&id=3192742
And so, with the weekend ahead and not being a fan of Dancing with the Stars or of Tom Delay, all I can breathlessly say is I wait for something else with bated breath and whispring humblenesse. Life’s next eccentricity is surely right around the corner.
(“Bated Breath” quote with thanks to the Bard, Will Shakespeare, from Merchant of Venice, Act I, Scene III)