First it was the “all you can eat“ diabetic sushi guy mad at the sushi restaurant for making him take the all-you-eat rice with his raw fish. Then it was the “Round mound of gourmand” and his keister, suing because his ‘Big Guy’ fanny and burger-loving tummy wouldn’t fit in White Castle’s booths.
But as it turns out, Shenkman wasn’t done with just beans. The non-pork-and-beans-eating plaintiff/lawyer is also reportedly suing Panda Express,
Shenkman is also suing over “Coconut Water.” Huh? What’s that? It’s the clear liquid inside young coconuts. I’m thinking it must be like coconut veal?
Because of a recent study, Shenkman’s unhappy that the purported health benefits and nutritional claims of the supposed high potassium, antioxidant coconut water being sold by a couple of companies may not be as advertised. He’s a runner and his lawyer says Shenkman’s “disheartened” that the coco waters he was buying and consuming weren’t as super-hydrating as he’d been led to believe.
Lord, what’s next? Will someone next tell me that Jolly Rancher isn’t really a rancher? Or that someone’s challenging the Colonel’s Secret Recipe “eleven herbs and spices”?
Whether or not all this comestible litigation gets Shenkman anything other than notoriety for his fast food casual dining preferences remains to be seen. And depending on the bases for his suits, proving up damages, for example, may be just one of his problems. And then there’s all that attendant publicity. Some of it may be good for business – – – since there’s that old saying about there being no such thing as bad publicity. Or as Mae West famously said, “I expect it will be the making of me.”
However, at least this much can be said, leave it to a lawyer to reinforce that well-established American right to find relief, even the gastronomical kind from the food court – – – by going to that other court. Or said another way, when you ‘don’t know beans’ about what you’re swallowing, you can always sue.
Photo Credits: 03 Pinto Beans by Jason Lam, jasonlam, via Creative Commons-licensed content requiring attribution and share alike distribution at Flickr;In free fall, By TT Arvind, ttarvind,via Creative Commons-licensed content requiring attribution and share alike distribution at Flickr;Drinking coconut by Dtfman via Wikipedia Commons and made available under the Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication.