And now here’s how I remember that joke:
An 80-year old guy went to the doctor for his annual physical. After his lab tests were done, he met with his doctor to see how he was doing. He also wanted to tell the doctor about his desire to live an even longer life, as long as possible — at least, another ten years to age 90.
On hearing this, his doctor replied that he was doing “fairly well” for someone his age. “Fairly well?” This wasn’t what the 80-year old had expected to hear.
He became concerned and asked,“So does that mean I’ll live to be 90, doc?” His doctor answered, “Well, do you smoke or drink?“
“Oh no,” was his answer. “I’ve never had a drop of booze in my life.”
The doctor then asked, “Do you eat barbecue? How about big juicy steaks?” The old guy replied, “No, I don’t eat red meat.”
“Do you spend a lot of time outside? Do you fish? Bike? Play golf?” asked the doctor. “No I don’t,” was the answer. Next, the doctor asked, “Do you gamble? Drive fast cars? Stay up late or chase women?”
“No, Never done any of those things,” he replied.
The doctor then looked at his patient and asked, “Now tell me again, why do you want to live to be 90?”
Which brings me back to the funny – – – dare I say, even irreverent obituary of Michael ‘Flathead’ Blanchard. A “Celebration of Life” was held April 14th in Denver’s northern suburb of Commerce City and the obituary, which included an invitation to the service, memorably ended this way, “So many of his childhood friends that weren’t killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.”