Posts Tagged ‘Freddie Fender’

Besides quoting F. Scott Fitzgerald’s famous banality, “There are no second acts in American lives,” let me, as the current political season ends, rework an equally apt quote — from Freddy Fender, a Tejano country crooner who overcame a Marine Corps court-martial and a nearly three-year stint at the Angola prison farm to have lots of second acts — including, playing for two U.S. Presidents; earning multiple Halls of Fame and becoming a hugely successful Grammy Award winning musician.

https://i1.wp.com/farm5.staticflickr.com/4141/4914288037_0389d6a169_n.jpgAlthough Freddy’s “Before the Next Teardrop Falls” is a heartsick love song, I think it also describes politicians and hackneyed personages who stick around past their sell-by date. They hang around like lovesick dopes hoping that next time, you’re really gonna want them “before the next tear drop tortilla falls.” 
                                                                                                                                                                               And besides, I like Freddy’s music — so this pretext is as good as any to give him another listen. Besides, why not an old country chestnut 5 days before Election Day? Not only are we anxious for the political advertising blitzkrieg to stop but just about now most of us are either crying over or hating both political parties with equal venom. “A plague on both your houses.” See, for example, four-year old Abigael Evans who’s also had enough.

Tortillas and ticks don’t mind bad weather.

photoBut also pardon me please for my silly reach — from tortillas to ticks. The former are on my mind because good tortillas like good Mexican food remain hard to find here — despite a Phoenix population more than 30 percent Hispanic. They must all be eating at home, passing instead on the area’s passel of deep-fried chimichanga consuming Gringo-Mex culinary nastiness — proof that God said you can deep fry anything and make it edible. But would a lawyer’s old pair of worn-out, deep-fried Allen-Edmonds taste any good?

And as for arachnids, I’ve said before the human animal can have the tenacity of a ‘tick on a coon hound.’  And politicians and washed-up public personages are most like them — hard to burn, to bite or to bear. Consummate survivors, they even don’t mind cold weather.

Second acts.

As for second acts, they abound. For one, take toe-sucking Dick Morris who survived his fling with call girl Sherry Rowland to afterward successfully triangulate from Democrat and conniving Clinton confidant to best-selling Republican hack and far-right Fox News talking head. (The scandal-plagued frequently feel Fox News’ love.)


File:Michael D. Brown, official FEMA photo portrait, 2003.jpg

Ex-FEMA Fumbler Michael Brown, Esq.

So with that as perspective, in the midst of Hurricane Sandy’s destruction, ex-FEMA head, lawyer [no surprise] and current media talking head Michael Brown continues relishing his own second limelight to criticize President Obama for reacting too quickly in mobilizing relief for Frankenstorm‘ Sandy.

That’s rich coming from Brown since, as most of us remember, he ignominiously did the opposite during Hurricane Katrina — something President George W. came to rue after damning himself by extolling the incompetent Brownie with premature praise.

Email boot-lickin,’ brown-nosin,’ butt-kissin’ boogies.

My other favorite Michael Brown quote, however, remains the gag-inducing sycophantic email exchange between the self-described “I am a fashion god” Brown and his fawning public affairs flack Cindy Taylor over his “lovely FEMA attire.” She told him, “You look fabulous.” And he replied, “I got it at Nordstroms. … Are you proud of me?”

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“First and foremost … our Attorney General is much better looking.”

Coincidentally, though, Arizona takes a back seat to nobody when it comes to political toadyism. Earlier this month, as part of a campaign financing irregularity inquiry into Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne, e-mails were turned up from another brown-nosing and clearly eyesight-challenged underling who praised Horne’s looks; called him “rock star” and stated how “Arizona is blessed to have you as a leader.”

When it rains, it really pours even in dry, dusty and hot Arizona. Horne was further embarrassed in the press this week with FBI revelations about his alleged involvement in a hit-and-run while the chunky alleged Lothario* was carrying on an affair with a deputy assistant attorney. Also see “Tom Horne’s office withholds public information to protect … Tom Horne.”

About now, I’m also betting Horne’s glad he doesn’t work for someone like “W” who had a penchant for pet names, particularly diminutive surnames like “Brownie.” Stating the obvious, a diminutive of “Horne” doesn’t work out as well given the current context.

File:Falstaff and Mistress Quickly Francis Philip Stephanoff.jpeg

But notwithstanding the small Schadenfreude he’s enduring, Horne can take comfort from Arizona’s excellent tradition of scandal. Indeed, by comparison, the allegations against him are small potatoes. Plus, he’d need not fear continuing a career, no matter how things turn out. With history and all those scandal and incompetency plagued predecessors who yet flourish today, before the next teardrop or tortilla ever falls, he’ll have had not only his second but more likely, his third act.


*“This battered hulk of thine, ‘spite wind and weather, Still yields some joy to thee, For all the women, old and young together, Are mad with love for me! Good body mine, the which I amply nourish, Long may’st thou flourish!” – From Falstaff, a lyrical comedy in three acts, by Giuseppe Verdi, Arrigo Boito

Photo Credits:”Tortilla Face,” by Tom Hilton at Flickr via Creative Commons-licensed content requiring attribution;  “We {heart} Tortilla Chips,” by TheDeliciousLife at Flickr via Creative Commons-licensed content requiring attribution;”Michael D. Brown, former director of FEMA,” via Wikipedia Commons. Work of a Federal Emergency Management Agency employee, taken or made during the course of an employee’s official duties. As the works of the U.S. federal government, all FEMA images are in the public domain;”NJ National Guard operations during Hurricane Sandy [Image 2 of 8],” by DVIDSHUB at Flickr via Creative Commons-licensed content requiring attribution; “Tom Horne,” by Gage Skidmore at Wikipedia Commons licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license; “Falstaff and Mistress Quickly”   Philip Stephanoff via Wikipedia Commons, United States public domain.


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